Thursday, October 9, 2014

Rabbits, and Me

Me as a kid and Snowbelle who is stuffed in my pocket and glaring at me.
I've always been an animal lover. Ever since I was little, I was always "rescuing'' animals from "situations".
For instance, I would "rescue" frogs and tadpoles from the dirty pond water, and "stray" cats from from my neighbors back yard.
My family had plenty of pets, and I loved every single one of them (that is, except for my brother's tarantula), but I never had a pet I could truly call my own, until Snowbelle.
Snowbelle was an albino white rabbit. I carried her around with me everywhere. To be honest, thinking back, I kinda feel sorry for that bunny. I mean if I had to put up with a girl who was obsessed with dressing me up in babydoll clothes, and stuffing me into the pockets of every single outfit she wore, I would be a fairly miserable rabbit.
But in all actuality, I loved that bunny with all my heart. I used to hold Snowbelle in my lap at the dinner table, and feed her salad off my plate. Every night I would tuck her in bed next to me, and she would snuggle up next to me. Which as a kid, snuggling with a bunny was the most magical thing, because, like, no one had rabbits. So I was the awesome kid who could walk around saying, "Check out this bunny bitches!!" (Maybe not that exactly since I was like eight years old at the time, but you get the idea).
I love rabbits. I always have. I used to want to be a rabbit, because, one Christmas, my mother decided to read The Velveteen Rabbit to my brothers and me. And let me tell you, I truly believed, with all my heart, that if the stuffed rabbit could become a real rabbit, then sure as hell, so could I. I used to sit up in bed every night, and fold my little hands, and do that stupid thing from Pinocchio, where you see the evening star, and say

"Star Light, Star Bright
First Star I see tonight.
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight"

And then of course instead of wishing that a wooden puppet would become a real boy (which is incredibly creepy), I would wish that I could become a real rabbit.
Yep. I was that fucked up of a kid.
I think I was the only child ever to want to become a rabbit instead of the usual, princess, rock star, or vet. But I just had this thing about rabbits.
Me and Cupcake. The best
rabbit/human duo ever.
Anyway, I had Snowbelle until I was eleven, and then my family had to move so I had to get rid of Snowbelle. My mother, being the kind and compassionate person that she is, instead of taking Snowbelle to an animal shelter, or giving it to a family who would have taken good care of her, handed off my poor little bunny to some random lady in the parking lot of the Pick 'N' Pay downtown. Needless to say, I was heartbroken, and fairy convinced that my mother had just supplied dinner for the woman.
I spent the rest of my childhood rabbitless, because I just could not get over the fact that my mother fed my Snowbelle to some lady at the Pick 'N' Pay. In high school, I finally worked up the courage to get another rabbit (most likely because I was no longer living with my mother, and felt more confident that this bunny wouldn't end up as a meal this time). I named her Cupcake. She was a miniature lop-ear rabbit, and she was epic because I could lay her on her back, and she would fall asleep, and stay upside down like that for hours with her feet in the air.
I entered her in a rabbit show at a county fair one year, because I was convinced that everyone needed to see her upside-down trick.
It was epic. I won first place, and a position of eternal weirdness in the minds of my friends. Because the captain of the Showgirl Dance Team, should not be engaging in something as loserly as a county fair.
Me and my friend Brooke, first and second place
at the Shelby County fair. And of course Cupcake,
and her trophy, and ribbon.
But I didn't care, because my bunny was awesome, and now everyone knew it.
Cupcake died about a year later of heatstroke.
And the wonderful roommates I had at the time decided to bury her next to the septic tank in the neighbors backyard without informing either me or the neighbors. I didn't even know she was dead until I noticed a shovel leaning up against her cage.
So as you can assume, that situation turned out pretty fucking awesome. As in I was emotionally traumatized over a rabbit again.
Story of my life.
Anyway, I should let you all know  that I no longer have the desire to be a rabbit, much less own one, as that situation was way too emotionally scarring for me.
I am now officially a cat person.
That is all.

C'est La Vie.
Viva La Vida.
And Fuck the System.
Signed, hot_tunes♪♫