Wednesday, May 7, 2014

So This Happened... Shovel...Keisha?

I know everyone is talking about it, so I just have to say something about the "crazy fight" that ended with a girl getting hit in the head with a shovel. First of all, I think I wasted eight minutes of my life watching these two girls attempt to fight. Basically what happened here is this girl Miranda Fugate shows up to her friend Emily Powers house to start a fight with her. No one really knows why, but they start talking. The conversation starts pretty normal. They ask each other how old they are, and talk about moths, and pet the chickens in Emily's chicken coop. Nothing that should have instigated a fight, but for some reason, they start insulting each other, and throwing punches, most of which don't land, (I'm gonna cut in here, and state that neither of these girls know how to fight. I have Never seen so many missed punches in my life.) And then one of them starts saying "Don't hit me in my face!"
Now Excuse Me? Is this what fighting has devolved to in the year 2014? It's not like some professional fight where there's 'don't hit below the belt' rules or something. This is the streets -or a backyard in this case- there are no rules. So anyway these two girls get in this pathetic little fight rolling around on the ground, pulling each other's hair, basically making two complete fools out of themselves. Anyway after a couple minutes of this, Emily starts saying things like "Get off my property, or I'm gonna beat the hell out of you!" Which we all know wouldn't have happened without a weapon or something, because for the past few minutes, Emily had been trying to beat the hell out of Miranda and was quite obviously failing miserably. Well needless to say, Miranda refused to leave, saying things like, "No, what are you gonna do? Call the police?" to which Emily replies "No, but I'll go get my gun." Which throws everyone off for a second, because it sounded like Emily was about to shoot Miranda or something, until we find out that its an air soft gun, so basically it shoots tiny plastic balls. By this point, I'm rolling on the floor laughing at both of them, I mean this is the stupidest thing I think I have seen in a long time. Well one thing leads to another, and finally I guess Emily got upset enough to pick up this huge gravediggers shovel, and whack Miranda over the head with it. After which of course Miranda gets up crying and stumbling around like it's the end of the world. Basically neither one of them actually expected to get hurt, and when one of them did, it was like this huge deal. (Quite obviously, neither of the girls had been in a real fight before).

Well a few days after the fight (if you can call that a fight) went viral, a news report came out saying that Miranda, the girl who had been hit with the shovel, died due to serious head injuries. Up to this point, Miranda had been eating up the attention like she was some sort of
celebrity or something, posting all over Twitter about it. She even changed her Twitter profile summary to read "<3Yes I'm the one who got hit with a shovel." Obviously she is going to milk this for all it's worth. She thinks she's some sort of local hero or something, due to her video going viral, she received benefits, and obviously I think she's never going to be able to move past this. She is even under the impression that her little scuffle with her friend was even more intense than Sharkeisha's fight. Which as we well know, Sharkeisha did a pretty good job of "beating the hell out of" her opponent. (Without the use of a shovel or any other weapon I might add.)
Anyway after the video went viral,, a website that is well known for its satire, and humorous false news reports, posted a fake article stating that Miranda died due to serious head wounds incurred by the shovel; a story that quickly went viral. Miranda is obviously alive, though according to some of her tweets, she is very offended. But honestly what did she expect? She became "famous" because she got hit in the head. People really don't respect or look up to her for any reason, and she is only well known because people make fun of her.  I almost feel sorry for her. Miranda quite obviously doesn't realize that she can't use this incident as a free ride through her childhood. A future employer is not going to care that she was "the one that got hit with a shovel", she's not going to make any true friends, just followers attempting to boost their own popularity by being associated with her. And it's not going to help her protect herself if the time presents itself, because, damn, SHE CAN NOT FIGHT!!
C'est La Vie.
Viva La Vida.
And Fuck the System.
Signed, hot_tunes♪♫