Thursday, May 8, 2014

My Strange Addiction

Many people have addictions, whether they know it or not. Very common ones are their cell phones, coffee, or their job. I, however, have an incurable addiction to lemonade. Yes, lemonade. Something about the sweet, tangy, sour flavor of lemonade is completely irresistible to me. It's like it speaks to me. If I see a pitcher of lemonade anywhere in the near vicinity, there is almost nothing that can stop me from running over snatching up the nearest empty glass, and filling it to the brim. My addiction goes even further than that. I love things that taste like lemonade, no matter how remotely. For instance lemon drops, lemon meringue pie, even lemon Jello. If it has any sort of lemon flavoring in it, I'm your girl. My addiction is so intense that I even love lemon scented cleaner. I mean I don't know anyone who doesn't enjoy a crisp, cool, glass of lemonade on a hot summers day, but I'm so far gone that I'll choose frozen lemonade over hot chocolate in the dead of winter. Now every time I mention this, I get very strange looks, but you have not lived until you have had a steaming mug of hot lemonade. It's the perfect thing to satisfy you on a cold winter day, or the to sip as you sit and watch the rain on a chilly spring evening.
I don't simply limit myself to frozen lemonade concentrate, or bottles of Simply Lemonade in the store aisles. I consider myself a connoisseur of lemonade. Every summer when I have the time, I spend hours juicing lemons, and slicing up different fruits to create the perfect flavor of lemonade. I've spent so much time making lemonade that my family once attempted an intervention to weaken my infatuation with it. They removed all of my lemons from the refrigerator, and all of the frozen concentrate from the freezer. They hid my favorite lemonade glass, and filled the fridge with soda and fruit juice. I was Horrified! All of my sweet, lemony beverages were gone! They even went so far as to hide my stash of lemon flavored sweets from me! All my lemon drops, all my lemon chiffon cupcakes, all my raspberry lemonade Jolly Ranchers! Oh the Monstrosity! I hardly knew what to do with myself. Waking up in the morning, instead of a rich slice of lemon pound cake, I had to settle with boring coffee cake. Instead of that ice cold glass of lemonade after my morning jog, I had to settle for apple juice. Even my lemon flavored toothpaste was replaced with generic Aquafresh. No more lemon meringue pie. No more lemon sorbet. I was forced to eat regular boring food, and use Orange scented cleaners (Awful stuff). The lemon pepper disappeared from the spice cabinet so I was unable to make my favorite, lemon cashew chicken. Now I know all this sounds ridiculous, but something about lemons is just awesome to me. Eventually, due to my midnight shopping trips to buy more lemonade when everyone was asleep, my family realized that they would never truly be able to cure me of my obsession with lemons. Things slowly returned to normal. Fresh lemons reappeared in the fruit drawer of the refrigerator. Lemon extract returned to the spice cabinet. Lemon sweets once again inhabited my desk drawer, and I resumed my search for the perfect flavor of lemonade.
Through the years, My infatuation with lemons has diminished some, but my quest for the perfect cup of lemonade continues. Since I have been at college, my lemonade antics have been limited to consuming bottles of Calypso, and Simply Lemonade. My friends think I'm crazy; they can't comprehend how someone when offered a sweet minty mojito, would turn it down for a can of  Minute Maid. Even I don't fully understand my obsession with the beverage or when it started. I remember when I was little, and someone would pour me a cup of lemonade telling me to hold it carefully with both hands. After taking a sip, I would shudder and hand it back, saying it was "too sour" and could I "please have some juice instead?" I don't know at which point in my life, the smell of lemons became so intoxicting. It makes no sense to me how one little fruit can be so wonderfully addictive; I guess I'll never know. My love for lemonade goes deeper thatn just the occaisonal glassful by the poolside; quite frankly I'm glad my addiction is lemonade, not meth.
Because I love you all so much, I am going to share with you one of my top secret recipies; the Strawberry Lemonita.

You'll need:
3 cups sugar
5 cups water, divided
6 to 8 lemons (about one cup of lemon juice)
Ice
1 cup of fresh strawberries
1 cup tequila (optional)


  1. Combine sugar and 3 cups of the water in a small saucepan and bring to a gentle simmer over low heat. Once sugar is completely dissolved, remove from heat to cool.
  2. Juice the lemmons in to the sugar water syrup once it is cool.
  3. Puree the strawberries in a blender, or chop very finely and crush with a fork.
  4. Combine all ingredients in a pitcher. Chill and serve over ice.
  5. Enjoy
C'est La Vie.
Viva La Vida.
And Fuck the System.
Peace.
Signed, hot_tunes♪♫