Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Summertime Sadness

As I near the end of a school year, I realize how temporary everything is. Things that even a few weeks ago seemed set in stone, now wobbling on thin ice, about to fall and crumble at any moment. The friends that I made over the few months I was here, so close to me now might never see me again, or if they do, may become distant, and cold during the months of summer. As I look back over the academic aspect of the year, I realize that I didn't really learn anything. I just became good at passing. Doing what was required to receive an 'A'. Everything I thought I learned at the time, was just enough to complete an assignment or project, then completely forgotten.
Relationships will dissipate, and the people I once was infatuated with romantically will go their separate ways, leaving only a memory of their touch and the times we had together. Sure, I'll stay in touch with some of them, but conversation without contact soon dies off in the end.
Now, I know this all sounds depressing, and you're all probably thinking "What the hell? It's summer! What's wrong with her? No college kid sound be depressed at the start of summer." I'm not depressed, I mean summer? HELL YEAH!! But still when you think about it, it's not like high school where you know you'll be sitting in the same classrooms as your friends the next year, or where you'll most likely see your friends throughout the summer. There is no knowing where you or your friends will be in the next year. Sure, they might stay, and sure you might be sitting together listening to a professor lecture the next semester, but the chances are most likely that they'll move on. They'll go to the next step of their lives, whether it be a transfer to another campus, or a soul-searching trip across Europe. I realized that friendship is even more important, and special now that you never truly know how much time you have together.
Am I excited about summer? Yes! I'm excited for the break from academics, and the time to spend with my family. Not to mention the steamy nights of fleeting summer romance, and sweltering afternoons by the poolside drinking lemonade and
 making conversation with the lifeguards. But now as an adult, summer means more than playing in a sprinkler, or sleeping late. Summer is full of responsibilities, same as any other time of the year. For a college kid, summer calls for the search for a temporary occupation, whether it be saving lives from a white bench at the side of a pool, serving ice cream to the children who have no idea how quickly their carefree summers will end, or sitting at a desk facing a screen, glancing out the window at the sunshine outside longing for just an afternoon of freedom and fun.
But even for the work burdened college student, trying to earn enough money to survive the next semester, there is still fun in those summer nights. Crazy backyard parties, crammed with bathing suit clad individuals dancing to the latest "summer anthem". Lazy nights on the porch drinking cheap beer, and devouring pizza, trading stories of the past year. Late night swims with your current significant other, under the warm starlight. Evenings spent with loved ones gathered in the living room around the TV, crunching on microwave popcorn, watching a movie you've all seen countless times, laughing at your favorite parts, dreading the day when you'll have to leave once more to start the next semester. And on those few afternoons you can escape the dreary burden of work, the more studious of us will head to the local library, or sit at a desk inside, to get a head start on the next semester. The more adventurous of us will travel to some part of town less frequented by the hoards of summering people. While still others will head to the mall with family or friends to perfect that summer style that will most definitely turn heads, or the cinema to see the latest movie that every family simply must  see.
I will most likely be spending my summer in the house on 36th street, soaking up the time spent with my family, searching for a job which if found, I will throw myself in whole heartedly, hoping those hours will earn me the funds to tough it out yet another year. Yes, while those nights spent dancing in a backyard, or those afternoons spent lounging on a poolside sound wonderful, and fun, they will most likely be spent inside some building, catering to the every whim of a customer, or crashing exhausted after a hard day's work. My weekends will be spent with my family, showing them in every way I possibly can how much I love them, and how much I appreciate everything they do for me. And as for those steamy summer nights of romance, those will most likely be just a daydream as I press my way through another work day, waiting for my shift to end.
I am excited for summer. I really am. But as excited as I am for the break from academics, I must be realistic and know that while it is a break from one type of work, it will be replaced with another. And such is the life of an adult. There never is a real break from any type of labor. There will always be something to replace the work that is completes. There will never be enough time to spend with family and friends. The next year will be a mystery, and it is one I am excited to unravel, but still, I can't help but experience a hint of summertime sadness.
C'est La Vie.
Viva La Vida.
And Fuck the System.
Peace.
Signed, hot_tunes♪♫