It's so awkward being around people who are in love.
I mean really in love. Not just obsessed with eachother.
I mean the kind of love where they can't be in the same room or building for that matter with out it emanating between them like electricity. And everyone else gets shocked by it. The kind of love that you can feel when they talk about the other, even if their partner is no where near. The kind of love where they use the royal 'we' without knowing it, because their souls are so joined together. The kind of love that makes everyone else feel alone, even if they are in a secure relationship.
It's rare in this generation I live in. Teenagers. We've had sex so embedded in our minds that true love seems like a fairy tale. Something we hear about, and allude to, but none of us know how to even open up enough to find. Something we are in love with the idea of.
I am so tired of feeling this way. I didn't get love from my 'family(ies)' and I sure as hell ain't getting it now. Not from anyone up here at college. I just feel used as a sex object. Horny white boys who are curious to see what it would be like to 'bang the black girl', boy's who wan't to 'tap dat ass' who just want to 'get some'.
I am about ready for a change. They say there's a Mr. Right out there for everyone. Well He better get his ass over her soon. Cause I'm about to go crazy.
I mean I really, Really, REALLY like Roger. But I can't see myself with him in the future. I can't see myself with anyone I know now in the future . So He better show up soon, because I'm not getting any younger here.
C'est La Vie.
Viva La Vida.
And Fuck the System.